No Absolutes Eh?

There are those who are willing to countermand good solid experience in Alcoholics Anonymous. Yep! Sorry to burst your bubble :)

The question was (basically) "my mom can't be here on my 60th day so, is it all right to pick up my 60 day chip on my 58th day when mom is here?"

And the wise (imho) responses said "no, it isn't okay because we haven't earned 60 days in 58 days."

To which someone replied "Oh No! Are you the A.A. police? How dictorial! I don't give any absolutes to my sponsees and you're giving an absolute?"

For which my thoughts are;

Death is an absolute, fool! Death erases all hope and opportunity and even the bs. Death is absolutely - THE END!

To drink is to die...

What is it about working a program that is proven to work that you don't understand? What is it about working a program that has been proven NOT to work (YOUR program) that you've seemingly forgotten?

The Power of Choice Restored?

Is that really what this says? I don't think so because I don't see it here. Oh, btw, if I happen to feel the Big Book is the Holy Grail of recovery for me, who are you to question that?

From pages 84-85;

"And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition."

This part of our Big Book is not meant as a rebuttal to page 24 as someone used in our meeting last night. And please, don't try to bring me over to "your side" on this issue. I am powerless over drink. I'm not getting the choice back, ever! Don't mislead newcomers into believing, or even thinking, they might regain the choice either!

How Interesting... Getting Unfriended

Feelings aren't factual! That's right...

This feels strange. It's the social phenomenon called Facebook, friends, and then getting unfriended. You notice that a person can be added as a friend but say to yourself "wait a minute, we're already friends. What's up with that?"

Well, silly me, I keep my confirmation emails. And darn if it isn't right there! On April 20th. Yep, we were friends. But now we're not anymore. Hmmmm???

So, the first, initial feeling is really WTF? What did I do to be unfriended? And the answer is - NOTHING AT ALL!

The truth behind it no longer makes a difference, to me. If this person felt something towards me that caused them to unfriend me, it most certainly was their feeling, not mine. There was nothing in our interactions that gave cause for resentments. We barely know each other and that is simply from meetings.

Besides, true friends? True friends communicate, talk things through, work the Steps on the situation, show respect and forgive. True friends understand that humility is a priceless quality in recovery. True friends "take a beating and keep on ticking."

I am reminded that "if God is for me, who can be against me."

And I remember that, today, sober, I am capable of having friends.

This One Hurts

I am extremely happy for my friend in San Diego who called last night and left a positive message. A week ago he wasn't sure of a lot of things and now he says God has taken care of his needs. He ended the message by referring to page 317 in the Fourth Edition...

"When I am willing to do the right thing, I am rewarded with an inner peace no amount of liquor could ever provide. When I am unwilling to do the right thing, I become restless, irritable, and discontent. It is always my choice."

That is a choice I have today - do the right thing or not, not about drinking alcohol but about all the rest of life. I continue to believe that God will keep me unharmed because I am on the firing line of life with the right motives. But the story "My Chance To Live" doesn't end there...

She goes on to speak about life not heaping monetary riches on her head and I relate. She mentions that no amount of money or fame could equal what has been given her and I relate. She mentions being able to walk down any street, anywhere, without the fear of meeting someone I've harmed and I'd love to relate but despite all my amends there are those who have remained in their anger towards me. Loved ones.

Most importantly, she talks about her thoughts of not being consumed with craving for the next drink or regret for the damage she'd done on the last drunk. The craving has been removed - thank you God! I'm not so sure about not regretting the damage I did on those drunks.

What I cannot say but would love to relate to is what she ends with - she has been blessed with children who have never seen her drunk. Can't change that...

She has a spouse who loves her simply because she is - mine thought I was using AA to escape from reality and then there was something so wrong with me my touch was horrifying. She has regained the respect of her family - somehow because I am sober I am worse than before in their eyes and I don't understand. She asks "what more could a broken-down drunk ask for?" I know the answer to that question.

Yet I remain willing to do the right thing. And you won't smell alcohol on my breath. So, go figure...